Sunday, September 30, 2018

Life Update: My body, Social Media lies and Teething.

I think it's safe to say I have been off my game since having a baby. Five whole months of no blogs, serious lack of inspiration and I have been repeatedly asking myself what the hell has happened to me.

A lot has happened in those five months. Rupert has gone from a tiny little newborn to a teething, laughing little chunk. My body has completely changed physically and mentally and It's hard to tell what's me anymore. My whole life has flipped upside down, but i'm starting to think it was never the right way up to begin with. Life with Rupert seems complete.

Firstly, let's talk about me. (Seems strange to be putting myself first) Since having Ru I have been in two minds about my relationship with my body. One half of me loves my body, so proud that I was able to grow a whole body. That every stretch mark, every ounce of fat I gained was completely worth it and I'm so proud of it. The other half of me can't stand the state that my body is, it is a complete 180 from what I looked like before my pregnancy.

Recently I have developed an intollerance to dairy, which was previously 50% of my diet. So, I am having to chance my eating habits and lifestyle. It's like my body is changing into a new person.

My lack of motivation has been caused by a few different running things. Number one is the fact I don't have much time to do anything and when I do get time the house is usual a mess. Number two I don't think my life is interesting in the slightest for anyone to read about. Number three is simply where do I begin? So much, yet so little, has happened in my life lately that it's all blurred into one. I used to write about beauty but how I barely have time to shower, let alone put new makeup to the test. So where do I begin? Where do I even start with organising my life right now. Finally, Number four there is no routine what so ever to my life. My life revolves around what time Rupert wakes up, his naps, what mood he is in and his feeds. Everything is in the hands of my five month old baby.

So a new start seems the only logical thing really. I've always hated the look of my old blog and it made me hate writing because I didn't like the idea of people looking at my blog. Investing in my new blog is a bid at falling in love with writing on my blog again. Falling back in love with myself I guess. Because let's face it, I've let myself go. I'm trying to get myself back. Get myself back to taking care of myself and doing the things I love along side doing the most important thing in my life, being a mom.

The person on Instagram is me on a really good day. I'm sat in my pjs, un-showered for the second day in a row, dribble stains on my top from a milk drunk baby, bursting for the toilet but if I move i'll have a screaming baby: posting a photo of me looking totally together, hair done, makeup on and in normal human clothing. I do realise I am rambling here so here, so let's move on.

But anyway, onto the more interesting human in my life, Rupert. Ru is now five months old and I am in complete shock that it's going so fast (mainly because all 10 months of my pregnancy were the slowest months of my life). He is laughing, smiling, remembering faces, playing on his own and eating meals, well puree. He is quickly becoming a proper little human, with the most incredible personality (whilst looking 100% like his father).

A few little facts about Mr.Chunk:

- His favourite show is Hey Duggee, (which I happen to love too).
- He loves being tickled by his dad, (I do it the exact same way and it's just not funny apparently).
- Apple and Banana puree is his favourite.
- Reggie rabbit is his best friend and can't sleep without him.
- Bath time is the best time of the day, with lots of splashing.

Apart from all the fun and laughs he is currently enjoying, Ru is teething. Which is bringing a little less joy into our lives. As a first time mom I am constantly learning but teething is something I don't think i'll ever get used to. The worst part about teething isn't how I can't settle my little one or the lack of sleep but how much pain he is in and sometimes we can't do a lot to help him.

I am more than ever in love with being a mom. Although I've stated how lost I feel within myself, I feel totally at home with my new role: being a mom.

So here is a promise, a dedication to myself. Better content, more routine and a happier me.


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