Friday, October 12, 2018

5 things I didn't think would be so difficult as a first time mom.

Being a first time mom is hard. Harder than you expect: But in very different ways. The things you expect to be challenging like changing nappies and night feeds are hard, but you get used to them. Simple things like getting ready in the morning and making time to have a bath and shave your legs become impossible.

I am so lucky to have an enormous amount of help. My partner and I have really supportive families and our friends help out too. If we need time to catch up on sleep or (for me) time to clean the house or write, then we know we have a long list of people to ask to have Ru. But most of the time I am alone in the house with Ru.

Five days a week I am responsible for Rupert, From 6am til 6pm I look after him. Changing his bum, feeding him meals, giving him bottles and making sure he is entertained. That's a lot, it takes it out of you physically and mentally. 

People always ask me what have I been up to lately and I can never think of anything. Even though I'm busy 24/7 (literally). It's because I don't do anything for myself, I spend my days looking after Ru, which I love.

Rupert is my first child, honestly I didn't know what to expect. I assumed when people said It's hard that they meant the sleepless nights and the poo/ sick. But it isn't. To be honest, you get used to the poo and the sick. The hard bit is not having the time to take care of yourself. 

1) Drinking a hot drink.

Not just the Tea really, but eating a normal lunch or remembering to drink is such a task. Being typically british, in any situation I make myself a hot drink. Upset? Tea. Happy? Tea. Tired? Tea. Got too much to do but avoiding it? Tea. But being a mom I get the chance to make myself a hot drink but 90% of the time, it's not drunk. Even if I'm not stuck under a sleeping baby, my mind tends to wonder thinking about the next feed. Then I find my cold bru three hours later. Lunches tend to be what ever I can throw together in the space of ten mins and eat one handed. 

2) Shaving my legs.

Okay, so It's not just shaving my legs. Relaxing in generally seems to be impossible. Unless Ru is out of the house being looked after by some lovely helper, I can't relax.
If I manage to get five mins to myself, I end up running around after washing up or making bottles. 
I probably only get to shave my legs once a month and that is when my partner has Ru. Personal care like showering and leg shaving for me is always pushed right to the bottom of the to-do list.

3) Going out.

And i mean, going out with a baby. By the time Ive got ready, got the little human fed, changed, made his bottles, packed the changing bag, sorted out the pram, had my own breakfast, changed the baby again because he has either being sick or pooped, fed him again because he eats so much and then finally got out the house...You have to deal with the travelling. Making sure you're there in time for feeds and that his naps are taken for the correct amount of time. He isn't in the car seat for too long. 
Let me tell you, there aren't enough changing rooms when out in the public, nice ones at least. I end up buying about five Costa's when I'm out so I can sit down to feed Ru. 

4) Being Picked apart.

Everyone and their Dog's cousin will have their opinions and advice on how you should raise your child. From when you should introduce puree, if it should be pre made or home made. If you should hold your child or not. And the biggest one, how your baby should be sleeping. 
Ru is five months and still wakes up 3-4 times a night. A lot of people tell me to just leave him to cry, let him settle himself. I get people telling me It's normal. 
People will give their constant opinions and advice as if you can't pick the right thing for your own child by yourself. I do a lot of nodding and 'oh I'll try that' just to get people to be quiet.

5) Trusting your instincts.

Being a first time mom, trusting your instincts can be really hard because you don't know if they are right or not. I find myself calling my mom seven times a day to ask what to do and It always includes me saying 'Yeah, I thought I should do that'. I've always been told to trust my instincts, which I do, but you always have to double guess yourself. Everything is new so you're not sure if your instinct is right or if you're making things up in your head.

Being a mom is hard. New moms out got this!

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