Saturday, November 10, 2018

Am I ready for baby number two?

Probably the most asked question when you give birth is when you are planning to have number two. It's an automatic pressure to get pregnant again, start popping out more children and make your family bigger. But when is it the right time to think about number two?

Baby number two isn't always on the cards for some people, but for me baby number two is something I want. 

Baby number one was the learning stage. I had no idea what I was doing, teaching myself as I went along. So in theory baby number two I'll get to do things better. 

Not to say that baby number one isn't a perfect experience, but what is? Always room for improvements.

Baby number two is getting a second chance to try things again and having a little confidence in my parenting skills, maybe this time it won't be so scary. 

Ideally I don't want to wait too long, I don't want a big gap between Ru and his siblings but I do have to be a little realistic. Having a baby right now wouldn't be ideal for my mental health, my career or financially. 

But then is it best to 'Get it over and done with', get all the pregnancies, labours and teething out of the way and focus on the career later once my family life is complete ? 

And let's face it all babies are hard but number two can't be as difficult, can it? You have the toys, you have the furniture and you have all the expensive stuff on the way. We didn't know the sex of Ru so everything we have is unisex, packed away in labelled boxes and ready for number two. Things are ready for baby number two but I don't think I am.

One of the biggest stresses of having a baby is the financial strain, but with that covered it makes things that tiny bit easier.

Having my first baby at the age of 22 was difficult, especially seen as I was fresh out of an alcohol induced degree. My life has completely flipped 180 and it took a lot of adjusting. So am I really ready to go deeper into the mothership whole? Having one baby is currently a big struggle, especially with the hard core teething, so would number two fit into the equation, personally I think that's just adding more fuel to the fire.

I remember being asked about baby number two, a mere two days after having Ru and honestly I was thinking about it. 

Hormones are to blame, I missed my pregnancy so much.

I do have to ask myself the question, 'Do we have room in our family for number two just yet?'. Our life is pretty content as a family of three and our lives are very busy fitting in Ru, work and social lives. I'd be scared that baby number two would take time away from time with Ru. He is so dependent on us and I would hate to make him feel unloved. 

I need to enjoy the now, be in the moment of being a mom to one.

But imagine all the things we'd get to do again: Picking a name, feeling the baby grow and kick, seeing the first smile and laugh. I just want to make sure my whole attention is able to enjoy those things and not occupied on sharing my attention with two very young kids. 

Then I guess there is the obvious anxiety that comes with having number two. I know what to expect. I doubt i'll be wishing labour on myself with number two like I did with Ru, if anything I'll be dreading its arrival. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is number two is more of a big decision than number one because I know now what I am in for. I'm not going off other peoples experiences. I know what is going to happen. Plus I'm doubling my work load, I'll be making things twice as hard. 

I don't think I am ready for baby number two just yet. What happens happens but I am happy to wait until we're ready.

When do you think is the perfect time to have baby number two?


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