Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Five things we changed our minds about once the baby was born

Being pregnant for the first time is a combination of being force fed advice on how you should raise your child and the being told 'Listen to your instincts'. But let's face it, you have no idea what's going to happen, no idea what kind of parent you're going to be and no idea how you will raise your baby.






Co-sleeping.

When I was pregnant I borrowed the family moses basket, Bought a cot-bed and thought about the future with my baby and how he would be in his own bed. I silently judged the kinds of parents who let their little ones sleep in between them in bed. I thought they had no control over their baby and were 'lazy' parents.

Gosh was I wrong.

Rupert is six months old and still sleeps in between us in bed, or at least in his own bed at the end of our bed. He has always been a difficult sleeper and still now will wake up 3-4 times in the night for feeds or fun. We have tried everything to stop this but we've accepted that this is just how he is.

We have found what works for us as a family. Knowing that Ru is in bed with us allows us to sleep better and he sleeps better too.


Breastfeeding.

I cannot speak enough about breast feeding and my difficult journey. For the entiraty of my pregnancy I was asked if I was planning to breastfeed, told I was doing the absolute best for my unborn child and how it would make bond with my baby better. Never once was I told or reassured that if I couldn't do it it would be fine. Which is exactly what happened.

For 40 weeks I had built up my excitement to breastfeed and when it didn't work, I was devastated. I thought it was the only way to feed my child healthily and despised formula. My mind completely changed when I saw how quickly Rupert gained healthy weight and flurished on formula compared to how much we struggled on breastfeeding. It opened my eyes to Fed is Best.

Ru has now been on formula for six months now and is a very healthy, happy, smiley baby. I honestly thought that I had to breastfeed to be a good mom and that just wasn't the case.

Routines.

I watched hundreds of videos all about how important it is to get your baby into a routine and how it will make your lives easier. I have never been able to sleep train Ru and get him into a routine. With me being at home all the time and his primary carer, It is just easier for us both to follow when he wants to sleep naturally. I know this won't work when he is going to childcare. For the moment Ru is teething so he sleeps more than he should because he doesn't feel comfortable or himself.

At the age of six months we've just not been able to get a set sleep routine in place because he is always tired at different times and it heavily relies on how he sleeps during the night.

I've really relaxed my views on a regimented routine and following his natural body clock.

However meal times, bath time and bottles are on a set time scale.

Childcare.

I wanted to do everything. I wanted to be supermom who could look after a baby 24/7 run a blog, run a household and be a girlfriend as well as a mum. I didn't realise how difficult it would be.

In the early days I found it really difficult because I felt as if I was a failing mum by letting other people have my baby over night. But it is frankly impossible to do everything and still be a functioning human. Every now and again we get a sitter or family member to have Ru overnight or for a few hours in the day to allow us time to recharge. That's perfectly okay to do.

Technology.

I will not be one of those mums who sticks their child in front of the TV or an iPad.

Okay, can we get real for a second?

This was me all over but as soon as I had Ru I realised it would be next to impossible to be his soul entertainment other than his bouncer or plat mat. Bottles wouldn't be washed and made, clothes would constantly be dirty and the house would be a mess if I couldn't leave Ru with Hey Duggee for a few mins.

Bare in mind I will never go somewhere I can't see him incase he looses his balance when sitting. But there is no harm in letting your baby watch TV. Especially when most of the baby TV and Cbebbies is very educational.

What things did you change your mind about when you had your baby?


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