Friday, March 22, 2019

23 Things I Learnt Before Turning 23.

23. Gosh how did I get here. So much has happened in my 23 years, I feel like the old woman in the Titanic movie spouting my wisdom onto everyone. But I'm still learning, still stumbling my way through life. But I have learnt a few things in life and here are some of them.





One: Life is too Short.

Not everything will last forever and not everyone will be around forever. Treasure the moments you do have with people and make memories with those people. If you don't you'll regret it.

Two: What people think about you doesn't matter.

I spent so many years, mainly in secondary school, thinking that everyone was talking about me or that I was not liked by people. I wasted all that time trying to impress people, who were never going to be my best friends, I should have just accepted that they weren't my people and got on with the people who were.

Three: Being Different isn't a bad thing.

I didn't look like the other girls at school, I had wacky hair and I was a little chubby. I was, still am, an extroverted introvert. The boys weren't attracted to me. I was always a little different and I saw it as such a bad thing. After 23 years I have finally learnt to embrace that I am different but that's what makes me special.

Four: Heartache doesn't last forever.

I've been through heartache a few times and each time I am convinced that I'll die of the pain. But it doesn't last forever. If someone puts you through that kind of hurt then you're better off without them. But it takes time, let your heart heal.

Five: Family is everything.

This one is subjective to you but family to me has been everything. As I've mentioned I wasn't the kid with the huge friendship group and apart from one or two people I've had many different friends over the years that haven't stuck around. But my family has always been there. Especially my parents who I am forever grateful for.

Six: Being Nice can get you somewhere.

You've heard the saying 'Being Nice Will Get You Nowhere' well I disagree. I have gotten a lot in life from being nice to someone and getting something back in return. It's better to be known as the person who is too nice and you can rely on to try and help you as best as they can, than to be known as the person no-one comes to for help.

Seven: People take advantage of nice people.

For the majority of my life I have been wary that because I am nice and help people when I can, I am taken advantage of. You will find that not everyone has good intentions and some people know they can get off easy in life because you're too nice to say no to their crap. Be nice but don't be stupid.

Eight: Stand up for yourself.

When I was a teenager at school I was picked on quite a bit, I was the punch line to the fat joke and always seen as the second rate version of my friends. I would always let people pick on me and blame me for their own problems and It really effected me but I was too socially awkward and unconfident to do anything about it. When I did stand up to myself people didn't like It and I hated being the reason someone wasn't happy but I wasn't happy either. I've learnt that I should stand up for myself because I deserve better. Now I'm rarely picked on.

Nine: You can't please everyone.

Gosh, tell me about it. I was the try hard who wanted to make everyone happy even if it meant I was unhappy. Let me tell you It's draining AF. You do what you need to do to make yourself happy because you won't be able to make everyone happy. So why bother?

Ten: It's more than okay to not be friends with someone.

Following on from my last point. I used to get so wound up and wrapped up in myself if someone didn't like me. Why don't they like me? What have I done? and I would spend all my energy trying to make them like me. Why I did that I don't know. Don't waste your energy on people who don't bring good positive spirits into your life.

Eleven: Don't fall in love so easily.

This was a hard lesson to learn. After both my big breakups I was on the hunt for someone who could be my other half again because I felt like a half not a whole person, if that makes any sense. I would fall in love with people who didn't want a relationship from me and I was repeatedly putting myself in the firing line to be hurt again. It's okay to be picky and take your time. When the right one comes along it'll happen.

Twelve: People Lie.

You can probably guess how I learnt this one following number Eleven. But people will lie. People will lie to get what they want. People will lie to please themselves. People will lie because they think it's what will hurt you less than the truth.

Thirteen: Wearing your 'period' knickers all month round is better than lace ones.

This is a random one I know. But I've chosen comfort. I said it, I'm 23 wearing huge granny pants 24/7 because I wanna be comfortable and quite frankly no-one sees them so what's the point?

Fourteen: Do what makes you happy.

If It's granny knickers or eating that extra bit of chocolate or quoting your job to travel the world. Doing what makes you happy is an incredible lesson to learn. We have one life, unless we reincarnate into butterflies or a humpback whale, that one life shouldn't be spent being miserable.

Fifteen: You are Talented.

At school I loved performing arts and still do now. But I was surrounded by terribly talented people, urg I know, Who made me feel like I was sub-par. But you know what, I'm talented and even if I'm not talented in the things I want to be talented in like singing or baking or solving murders then who cares. I'm happy pretending that I am. I'm still going to carry on pretending I'm on bake off whilst I make my toast.

Sixteen (lucky number): You can't do everything.

I struggled with this one for a while. I feel inadequate if I feel I can't do something. But not everyone can do everything and that's okay. Just do what you can do and shine.

Seventeen: You're not perfect.

Gosh I'm glad I'm not. Perfection doesn't exist and it took a while to get that one wrapped around my head. I strode for the perfect body, hair, personality and work ethic at uni and ended up with depression, a crap relationship and an eating disorder. Great. I'm not perfect and never will be, but I'm happy with what I've been given. Can't do a refund so why stress?

18. Know when to take a break.

A recent discovery. When I had Ru I felt so run down because I was trying to breastfeed, do all the day and nighttime shifts, look after a house, recover from pushing a baby elephant out of my bits and still entertain all the guests. My parents came and looked after him for the evening because I was full of cold and needed to give myself a break. I felt like a failure for not being able to breastfeed and the idea of taking a break made me feel worse. But knowing when to give time to yourself is the best thing.

19. Being a mom is the best thing that will ever happen to you.

I didn't know what love was until I had Rupert. He is my entire world and reason for being here. 22 years into my life and I was blessed with my best friend.

20. Embrace every moment.

I often look at Rupert and think 'How is my baby nearly one?' I spend hours just staring at him, taking it all in. As I said in my first point, people die and time is precious. So embrace every moment, even if it means just pausing for a second.

21. Trust your instincts.

Being a mom has taught me to trust my instincts because your gut feeling is always an indicator of what to do or what is going to happen.

22. It's okay to be emotional.

Today I cried for an entire Queer Eye Season Three Episode (Elrod and Sons) and I'm not afraid to say it.

At school I was the girl that always cried and I was picked on heavily for it. I was so scared to show emotion and during breakups etc people would tell me to get over things because I took a while to adjust emotionally. But that's who I am, I'm an emotional wreck. It's okay to be emotional, It's great in fact.

23. The dark days don't last forever.

I've been through depression and it's hard to think you'll ever get over things. But here I am. The bad days will pass and the sunlight will come back. You just have to have a little faith and hope.
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8 comments

  1. I hope you had a fabulous birthday. It's so important to embrace every moment and I agree, family is everything!

    Katie | www.justkatiee.com XX

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  2. I LOVE being 'nice can get you somewhere'! These are all such amazing lessons to pass on. Happy belated 23rd lovely!
    Soph - https://sophhearts.com x

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  3. Happy belated 23rd Birthday girl!! I really enjoyed this post and how honest it is and I can't agree with you more how important family is! X

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  4. So many true things here! Hope you had a fab birthday x

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  5. Hope you had a wonderful birthday! ❤️ So many amazing and important life lessons in this post, I especailly love nice can get to somewhere! I’d personally much rather be nice in situations than mean xx
    Elina | www.justsoelina.com

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  6. Hope you had a wonderful birthday x

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  7. I loved reading this post and can relate to so many of your 23 things! I hope you had a wonderful birthday x

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  8. Love this! Hope you enjoyed your day

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