Thursday, November 14, 2019

Second Trimester Chat: 22 Weeks Pregnant.

When I found out I was pregnant again, I assumed my it would be exactly like the first time. The same symptoms, the same appointments and the same journey. Gosh, I was so wrong.

There are multiple things that have been a huge change for me during this pregnancy: from my body to how I have been treated. 

Midwives and appointments:

I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and so far I have had one midwife appointment and one scan (at 12 weeks). It has really scared me and set off my anxiety. My 20 week scan was booked and due to a wedding in France we had to rearrange it: but I seem to have been dropped off the grid. No-one seems to know why I didn't get a new appointment, how to get a new one and my midwife doesn't understand how to answer the phone to help me out.

I honestly think it is a bunch of miscommunication but I am finding it so hard to get any kind of support or appointments. I saw my midwife at 17 weeks and won't be seeing her for another two, when I am nearly 25 weeks gone. I've been told because my pregnancy is low risk like my first, I am given less help.

My second pregnancy has given me a lot more anxiety than my first. I am not able to take care of myself like I could in my first one. When I suffer with fatigue or a migraine I have to just carry on with my day, look after an energetic toddler and wait until the end of the day to take care of myself. So if anything I need extra help and assurance.

I am getting a little worried about myself and baby. I do feel like I am having to go a lot on gut instinct for everything. I don't want to sound naggy, but I don't understand why I am being given very little support just because everything went okay last time. Every pregnancy is different.

Trying to involve Ru:

Trying to involve Rupert in my pregnancy is something I am trying to work hard on. Rupert has gotten to the point where he points at my tummy and says 'mommy' and kisses my tummy: but I am a little unsure as to if he understands if an actual baby is in there for if it's a game we play.

It is something we're a little scared about. Rupert has become very clingy to me, wanting to be around me all the time and cuddle me constantly. When the new baby comes along I am not sure how I am going to cope.

We have been incorporating games and reading into our day to try and get him ready. We have recently got Ru a pram and a doll which he pushes around, we have been going out of our way to get him around other children to get him used to sharing not only his toys but me and reading the amazing 'Let's Talk To Mummy's Tummy' by Helen Lacey. Doing all of these are just little things that we want to do to build Ru up comfortably to the fact he will have a little sibling around in just a few months.

We're not sure if these are working, but at least we are trying.

Being prepared:

Well, I think this is going to be a short paragraph because I am not prepared at all. We haven't bought anything, made a list or even thought about labour.

At this point in my first pregnancy I had bought all the bottles, the pram, clothing, written down my t-buy list, read into labour and even picked out names. But this time around I am a mixture of too busy and well, just not thinking about it.

Being a full time parent whilst running my business makes me so busy all the time. We kept a lot of Ru's things that are all unisex so I know we have a much smaller list than last time, so maybe that's why I'm not thinking or worrying too much.

It's making me feel so guilty not being prepared but at the same time I don't realise how soon the baby will be here. In my head the baby is months and months away, but it's only a matter of weeks.

I realise this blog is a lot of me rambling but my blog is all about me voicing my very loud inner voice.

I keep thinking I need a day to sort out loads of paperwork, organise my to-do list and think about what needs to be in done before the baby arrives. But I just never have that day.

What do you do to get yourself organise and in the right mind frame?


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