Sunday, December 1, 2019

5 Things I Love About My Body.

A few months ago I forced myself to write a blog titled ' 9 Things I Like About Myself', it was good practice to actually look forward myself, rather than others, and see what I like about myself. It gave me a lot to think about, a lot to love and a lot to be thankful for. I was giving myself love for what I have rather than what I don't.


So here we are a few months later and feeling a little deflated. I am in this funny stage of pregnancy where I have a bump but it isn't round yet, it has pushed my bumps and bubbly bits forward, making me feel fat and unhappy. I often find myself pushing my tummy out to reflect a more rounded shape, I rub my tummy as if it say 'I'm pregnant, not fat' to onlookers.

I've had a rough time with my body. From eating disorders to years of self loathing. My body has changed so much over the years, I've pretty much put it through the ringer. Bulimia at university, on and off binge and purging until I fell pregnant with Ru, countless diets and now pregnancy number two.

I have a lot to hate about my body but a hell of a lot more to be happy for.

We get one body, unless you have millions of pounds, but why damage and hate it until we die. All this wasted time and energy built up into this ball that makes us think that everyone is better than us because they have blonde hair or curves, big bum or thigh gap: what we hate about our body someone else might pine after. Everyone is beautiful. I'm not saying if you hate your body you're bad, or that if you want to change it you shouldn't.  I'm saying there is more to life than putting ourselves though this cycle of torture, more positive things to live for.



So after about 16 years of hating my body. I'm going to do the one thing that society makes us feel even worse about, being nice to myself. We live in this world where it's so normal to hate ourselves that it seems alien when someone confesses a love for their own looks. I like the way I look and here are five things I wanna show off:

My eyes:

I have always loved my eyes. My bright blue eyes have always been something I have been proud of. I remember in school hearing other girls wishing they had blue eyes, buying contacts to change their eyes: as bad as it sounds their insecurities made me feel special. People wanted something that I had naturally, which never happened.

But now they are a symbol of my own pride, the family I've come from and the family I have created. Ru has my blue eyes.

My boobs:

I have always had really big boobs. I hated them for such a long time because they made me feel larger, It was always the thing pointed put to me as a teen which made me feel so insecure: then add the fact I hated them for failing me in my breastfeeding dream. I have really hated them for so long but I have learnt to love them. They may not have served their purpose but they are a big (huge) part of my body that I wouldn't be me without. I wouldn't be me without my larger than life body and they are a staring roll.

My uterus:

You heard that right. I'm so proud of it. I have grown an entire human in my body. From egg to nearly 9 pounds of living, breathing human. Not everyone is lucky enough to do this and I'm extremely lucky that I was able to get pregnant so quickly and carry my baby without any complications. I mean a slightly bigger hole (I'm sorry tmi) would have saved me from being cut and stitched up. I'm amazed that as women we can do this. Im amazed that I was able to do this, twice.

My tummy:

Every wobbly, lovely, lump of it. Every stretch mark, every hair and every single part of it: I love it. My belly has always been my biggest body negative. I used to look at all these skinny friends and popstars and think, I'm disgusting. My hatred of my tummy turned into a hatred of myself. Every stretch mark is a reminder of my pregnancy, every wobble reminds me of everytime I thought 'fuck it I'm going to have that biscuit' and I am truly happy to know that my tummy is a reflection of me just doing what makes me happy for the first time in my life. It's fat, but gosh I'm happy.

My skin:

As someone who had severe acne for years, loving my skin is something I  ever thought I'd do. I love my skin so much. I can happily go for weeks without wearing any: which is the biggest leap from the girl who would wear full face makeup to just sit in her bedroom at university...in case anyone knocked on the door. My skin still has spots, blemishes and a hell of a lot of moles. But I love it. It's a map of my life, a story of what I've been through.

Go on, I dare you. Tell me something you love about your body.
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5 comments

  1. Loved reading this - you are absolutely amazing, never forget that. I love my nose it's well cute haha x

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  2. I love this post and totally agree that we all could do with a little more self-love. I feel the same about my boobs, I've always felt as though they're too big for the rest of my body, but have grown to like them!
    Soph - https://sophhearts.com x

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  3. You are so right, we should celebrate the things we like about ourselves instead of always finding the worst things or the flaws that probably, nobody else ever really notices. This was a nice post to read this evening.

    Amy x
    The July Rose

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  4. I LOVED this post Leah, you go girl!! You look amazing and your body is going to have grown two little humans soon, incredible! x

    Gemma Louise

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  5. Loved this so much! You should be proud of everything you've accomplished and what your body and mind has been through to get you here x

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