Thursday, February 13, 2020

How I Deal With Online Hate.

Working in this industry has its ups and downs. For me this is a job I stumbled into whilst just writing for my degree and the love of creating content. It saved me in a lot of ways: After graduating I found myself jobless and pregnant, not only was this a great way for me to express my creativity but I found a lot of people in the same position to talk to and seek advice. Nearly three years down the road, pregnant with my second baby, it has not only helped me financially but emotionally.

The best people in this industry are the ones who have a pure love at heart for what they do. It isn't by any means an easy job, it requires a lot of hours, a lot of disappointment and a tone of self doubt. But with any job there is misunderstanding, jealously and negativity. 

Being a 'blogger' is a very misconstrued job where many think it isn't a career, think people who do it are lazy and often think that posting a photo on instagram or reviewing an item shouldn't class as an income. 

I know a lot of people who are in this job not only for the love of it but because it comes so natural to them to be creative. For a lot of us this job can be an absolute life saver: it can give us the chance to work around our children, our physical and mental problems and be happy in a job that we love.

I have worked in the PR and Marketing industry and what I did for them as a paid worker I now do on my own from home. There is no difference other than the fact I don't need to get childcare for my son, I work during nap time, bed time and weekends and find my own work. But I love it.

Behind that little 'AD' at the beginning of my caption or blog is weeks of hard work and hours.

With this comes a lot of hate. Working through the internet can be a horrible place. We are often trolled, tormented and mocked. We are told what we do for a living is somehow disgusting, brands will rip us off and try to pay as little as possible for our work and then not pay for months on end. The endless ignored emails, the bitchiness of other bloggers trying to make everything a competition, Instagram posts reaching 1% of your following on a photo that took hours and the constant self-doubt of why am I putting myself through this?

We often shy away from saying 'I'm a Blogger' when new people ask what we do and hide behind words such as 'Writer' or 'Marketing', because they feel less shameful and need less explaining. 

So how do I deal with the online hate?

Always Remember Why You Started This:

After doing this for years I find it hard to really think about why I do it anymore. It comes with so much negativity and unhealthy stress. 

But I got into this because I had no other way of being creative, it gave me the space to be the mom I wanted to be whilst surrounding myself with people who knew what I was going through. On the tough days thinking about all the times one paid invoice has helped me buy a much needed new pair of shoes for Rupert or the time Tribe paid me for an AD and I was able to buy my mom a birthday present.

People Are Mean Because They Don't Understand:

Know that a lot of people are being hateful towards you because they don't actually understand what you do. It is a weird industry and a lot happens behind the scenes that I guess people who have never been in our world would understand. They just see the finished product and it may be put together and beautiful, they are just seeing the final step and not the mountain that came before it. 

Think of it like a movie. People are seeing that film and that's it. They aren't seeing the lives of the people behind it. The audition process, the months of costume designing, stitching and sowing. The hours that went into makeup and hair, the years of script writing, reading, casting, re casting and then they have to film the thing, edit it and re edit it. It's long process that involves many people, practice, planning, shooting and writing...but they just see the nice film at the end. 

Find Love For Your Own Work:

It's hard when you've spent a lot of time on something for it to barely get any interaction or likes and feel like you've wasted your time: Then you see someone else has posted a photo of their cat and it has thousands of comments. Find love for your own work and it'll never be a waste of time. If you love it then who cares if others don't. 

Some People Are Just Mean:

There are ways to understand why people are horrible online and know that some people are just dicks. It may or may not be jealous, hate or some weird way they get their kicks. Some people like to watch others unhappy and want to see the world burn. Leave them to it.

Take Time Away:

There has been many an occasion when taking a step back is a good thing. Some people may see it as a victory, that their comments have knocked you down but doing what you feel is best is always a good thing. Trolling, hating and negativity can be really hard to process and can become too much for some. Admitting that you can't cope and need to take time away is brave not weak.

Sometimes we need to heal.

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