Wednesday, March 18, 2020

My First Week of Being A Single Mom of Two Under Two.

A week. A whole week. A week that has shaped me into a whole new woman and a whole new parent. It has been an entire week since I gave birth to Ruben and it has been a joy to spend every second watching him grow. But this is a whole new experience to my first week as a mom because I was able to watch Rupert become a big brother.

I have loved this week. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be and a lot easier than my first week as a mom. When Rupert was born I had just become a parent but when Ruben came along I was just adding to the clan. I had to navigate my way through feeds, changing and taking on responsibility for an entirely new person.

With Ruben I knew everything: I knew how to make up formula, bathe him and even how to deal with the poo and sick. So although my workload has doubled, I don't feel the added pressure at all. I just get on with what needs to be done in that moment. Take every step as it comes and enjoy every moment.

Living with my parents means that I have plenty of support, someone to help out when things get a little too much and someone to take over when the emotions hit. But I feel like I am really taking things in my stride. 

As a brother, Rupert has been incredible. He has been so loving towards Ruben and has adapted the way he spends his days to give me enough room to be a good mom to them both. From the growth in his independent play to sitting down at the table to eat his dinner in peace: Rupert seems to gave grown up almost over night. He wants to help an awful lot: bringing Ruben toys and trying to give him his bottle when he cries, plays by himself when I am feeding and gives him cuddles.

The one thing I worried about when waiting for number two to arrive was how bedtimes would be navigated. Rupert has always been one to cuddle and we never saw the point in training him to go to sleep alone when I was always home to be there for him. For the past two years he has gone to sleep cuddled up to either one of his parents: something we've all really enjoyed. But how was that going to work with a newborn around?

Granted having my parents around has been a life saver but on the evenings where they don't take over my care of Ruben whilst I get Rupert to sleep, they both have cuddled into bed with me. Ruben has also taken to sleeping in his Moses basket really well and self settles with ease. They have both adapted to having each other around really well. 

One thing that has been a little harder is deciding who is more important. This sounds horrible but there has been moments when they are both upset and I have to pick who needs the love first whilst the other waits. It has been a tough one but one that I have had to pick up easily. I have made sure that each of them gets plenty of my time, my love and my affection. Although Ruben needs a lot more care than Rupert at the moment, I still realise that Rupert needs my attention during times of playing and creating vital memories. 

Routine has been key. I have slotted us all into a fixed routine that allows things to be easier for us all. I have bottles ready for them both when they wake up so they don't have to be without morning cuddles, outfits for all three of us are put out at night ready for the morning. I have snacks and drinks available at all times and toys at the ready. Spare nappies, wipes and clothing is available at all times. I feel like routine and preparation has gotten me through this first week, it gives me stability and allows things to go smoothly. 

I have really loved every moment of being a mom. I have loved every moment of seeing my little family grow, my first love Rupert become a big brother and I can't wait to continue this life. 

Nothing could have prepared me to become a mom of two but I feel like it has come so naturally: more so than becoming a first time mom. 



  1. It sounds like you're doing an amazing job, Leah! You're absolutely smashing it!

  2. I know that you are doing an amazing job. I am loving reading your blog posts on this


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