Friday, April 10, 2020

A Letter To Rupert Before You Turn Two

To my first love, my heart and my home.


You made me a Mom, You taught me what it meant to love and every experience I had as a parent, I had it with you.

Rupert you changed me as a person in more ways than one. Before you I didn't know what I wanted in life, who I wanted to be or where my life was going. You taught me that my instincts may not always be right, but my heart is in the right place.

I never knew happiness, pride or love could reach such levels before you. Seeing you take your first steps, Seeing your first smile and hearing your first word: The happiest moments of my life.

Seeing you grow into the funniest, silliest and wildest toddler has given me such happiness, such pride and such joy. As I write this, you are running around the house pretending to be a dog with a stick in your mouth. Something so silly, that you could only mean you are mine.

My pregnancy with you was wild: I didn't know what to expect or where it would all go. Labour was terrifying but when you were placed on me it was like I was home. I had gone through the tornado and landed back in Kansas.

I love everything about you: from your goofy smile to your slight lisp, your ginger hair to your soft cheeks. You are wonderful, You are Beautiful and You are Mine. I am so proud.

I am so honoured to have been able to watch you grow and spend every second that I could with you. Every cuddle has been cherished and Every giggle has been wonderful.

Becoming a big brother is a new experience that we take on together, Seeing you next to him reminds me of how grown up you are, how much you have changed and how time seems to have hit fast forward. You seem so independent. Your unique personality shines through every second of the day.


I cannot believe that so shortly I will be wishing you a Happy Birthday once again. The past two years have gone by in such a blur. I feel like I have done so much, yet not enough in this short period of time. Your first holiday, Your first time on a plane, Your first food festival and the many thousand trips to feed the ducks. I have seen you build the most beautiful relationships with your cousins and grandparents and more recently your little brother. 

You have been my rock and my life line when I struggled with post natal depression, loneliness and heartbreak. You held me and made me feel better, when I felt my world falling apart you put the pieces back in place. You mean more to me than you will ever know. 

I see myself in you so much but equally see the people I love the most reflect in your personality. You are funny and cheeky like your cousin Poppy and caring like me, You look so much like your dad it scares me and you are so smart like my parents.

I often think about life before you and think how I wasn't really living at all. 

You push me to my limits in good ways and the bad. 

I cannot wait to continue to watch you grow into the beautiful, funny, cheeky man I know you will be. You will be the most amazing big brother and I cannot wait to see you two grow up together, outnumbering me and probably pushing me to breaking point.

If you're anything like your dad as teenagers, god help me.

So Happy Birthday my baby boy, I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

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8 comments

  1. Aww this is so lovely and beautifully written. Happy Birthday Rupert xx

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  2. Oh Leah, this letter is so beautifully written x

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  3. Aww this is so lovely ❤️ I can’t believe Rupert is nearly 2!!

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  4. This has me on the verge of tears. I'm not yet a mummy but I so want to be when my time is right. Your lovely little boy is so lucky to have you as a mummy!
    Rosie
    loverosiee.co.uk

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  5. Crazy that he is 2 already, they grow up so so quick!

    Gemma Louise

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  6. This is very sweet, I hope he has a lovely birthday :)

    Amy x
    The July Rose

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